


It Only Takes an Extra

by Marzos



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Gen, extras, for my fic It Only Takes a Taste, requests taken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 19:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8173951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzos/pseuds/Marzos
Summary: Carmilla works at a diner in a small town and, unfortunately, life happened before Laura Hollis was in it. (Drabbles and oneshots that take place before, during, and eventually after my fic It Only Takes a Taste. Requests are taken.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt: A scene of Carmilla and Mrs. Cochrane. 
> 
> Takes place when Carmilla is five years old.

Carmilla rehearsed the speech her mother had given her in her head as they walked up to the front door. Mrs. Karnstein had her hands on Carmilla’s shoulders, guiding her gently up the walkway, and Carmilla clutched the pie tin tightly in her hands. 

Mrs. Karnstein leaned forward, lifting a hand to knock on the door. 

“Just like we practiced Sweetheart, okay?” 

“Okay, Mom.” 

They waited. When the door finally opened Mrs. Cochrane was looking at them with red rimmed eyes. 

“...Lily?” 

Mrs. Karnstein squeezed Carmilla’s shoulders. “Lizzie, Carmilla had something she wanted to say to you,” she said, “on behalf of the Karnsteins. Go ahead.” 

Carmilla took a deep breath, taking a step forward. 

“Mrs. Cochrane, we baked you this pie because we’re both very very sorry about what happened to your daughter. We hope you feel better soon and we love you.” 

She held out the pie. Mrs. Cochrane put a hand over her mouth. 

“Oh my God.” Tears sprung to her eyes. Carmilla looked at Mrs. Karnstein for confirmation that she hadn’t done anything. 

“Mom, did I say it wrong?” 

“No, Sweetheart, you did great. Here.” 

She grabbed the pie from Carmilla’s hands. “Lizzie, let us come in and put this in the fridge for you.” 

Mrs. Cochrane wordlessly agreed, turning to let them through. Carmilla had been in her house before, a lot of times, usually alone and sometimes with Ell. 

“Thank you both,” Mrs. Cochrane managed to say, “this is so sweet.” 

“Lizzie, of course we did it,” Mrs. Karnstein said, “a pie is no real consolation for what you’ve lost. Are you doing okay?” 

Mrs. Cochrane grabbed a chair, lowering herself down slowly. “Well, as good as one could expect,” she said wearily, “I’m flying down in a few days for the funeral.” 

Carmilla ran back and forth, grabbing plates and utensils. 

“She’s a real woman on a mission, isn’t she?” 

“We bake for people around town all the time. She knows what to do.” 

Mrs. Karnstein joined her at the table. “She made up the recipe all by herself,” she continued, “I told her what happened and she was so upset.” 

“Where’s Taz?” 

Mrs. Karnstein looked down at the table. “Thaddeus had work.” 

“Lily, are you alright?” 

“We’re here for you Lizzie, not for my marriage.”

Before Mrs. Cochrane could say anything else, Carmilla hopped into her mother’s lap. 

“Okay, the pie is ready!”

“It looks delicious.”

“Thanks! Mom let me fill the pie crust all by myself.”

“Mmm,” Mrs. Cochrane hummed after taking a bite, “that must be why it tastes so much better than normal.”

Carmilla grinned. “See Mom, you should let me bake all the pies!” 

“When you're older baby.” 

Carmilla watched her eat for a moment before tilting her head. “Mrs. Cochrane, how did Miss Hollis die?”

“Carmilla!” Mrs. Cochrane hissed. 

“No, Lily, it’s okay. Eileen was in a car crash, dear.”

Carmilla frowned. “Oh.”

“How is Sherman holding up?’

“Staying strong for Laura. What else can he do?”

She looked at Carmilla fondly. “You know I have a granddaughter that’s five too?”

“Really?”

Mrs. Cochrane pulled out her wallet, producing a photo. “Here she is. Little Laura Eileen Hollis on Halloween.”

She was dressed in a flowing red cape and T-shirt with an _S_ emblazoned on the front. Her hands were on her hips and she was missing a tooth. 

“She’s pretty,” Carmilla remarked. 

“Lizzie--”

“Laura is doing as well as she could be too, from what Sherman has told me. At least she wasn’t hurt.”

“That’s the one bright spot, isn’t it?”

The longer Carmilla stared at the picture, the more upset she became; Mrs. Karnstein noticed. 

“Aw, baby, maybe it’s time to go home.”

She stood, hefting Carmilla up. They said their goodbyes, and Carmilla buried her face in Mrs. Karnstein shirt. 

“Honey, shhh,” Mrs. Karnstein said softly, rocking her back and forth on the sidewalk, “it’s okay. I know this is sad and I’m so proud that you talked to her anyway so she would feel better.”

“Mom, I feel really bad for Laura.”

It was one thing for it to have been a woman Carmilla didn’t know; it was still really sad of course. But not as sad as seeing that a pretty girl Carmilla’s age had lost her mother.

Carmilla didn't even want to imagine something bad happening to her mom. 


	2. Carmilla and Ell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt: 
> 
> 'Hey.. Err.. Marzos, can you make one of carmilla's and ell's first kiss?  
> Just they being cute and adorable together :3 <3'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! :D As always, requests are taken.

Ell had a big backyard. Well--technically it wasn’t hers. It was the woods that surrounded town. But the patch of woodlands that were behind her house had so many paths tramples and landmarks mapped out by both of them that Carmilla didn’t really think there was a distinction. 

It was dark and Carmilla was trying to use the last traces of light to spot Ell. No luck; eventually she sat down on a fallen log, waiting. Ell always showed up. 

“Hey!”

Ell’s head fell into view as she fell upside down, grinning at Carmilla from her perch.

“Carm, did I surprise you?” 

“I’m shaking,” Carmilla deadpanned. Ell didn’t let Carmilla’s mood faze her. She dropped to the ground and hopped back to her feet like a jack in the box.

“Don’t be so grumpy Carmilla.” 

“But I thought it was part of my _charm.”_

“Did you bring the pie?”

“As a matter of fact,” Carmilla unwrapped the little bundle she had resting on her lap. “I call it ‘red, white and blueberry pie.’”

Ell gave a little squeal of delight, grabbing the slice and taking a huge bite. “This is _delicious.”_

“Yep, I’ve outdone myself.”

Ell frowned a little. “Y’know, maybe you should make a slice of _humble pie_ next.” 

“Please.” 

Ell sat down between Carmilla’s legs. She chewed on her pie thoughtfully as Carmilla’s fingers gently ran her fingers through her scalp.

“...So Danny is coming down this weekend. Our families are having dinner and stuff.”

 

“I’ll probably be working, so if you wanted me to come--”

“No, I was just saying...you know Danny is bringing her girlfriend?”

Carmilla bent her head down. “Wait, like she’s _gay?”_

Ell nodded. “Mom and Dad sat me down and told me. You know, so I wouldn’t be surprised and make them uncomfortable?” 

Carmilla couldn’t help but snicker. “Oh man, Kirsch is going to be _so_ upset.” 

“Betty will be thrilled though, remember how jealous she got?” 

“She’ll want to throw a party.” 

Ell laughed. “We should save her some pie.” 

“As if I am not going to polish off this entire thing,” Carmilla huffed. She grabbed Ell’s fork and took a bite herself. 

“Still though. Danny is like, the first person we know that’s come out, isn’t she?” 

“First one to _get out,_ now she’s the first one to come out. Not surprising. Although,” Carmilla tilted her head, “who else do you think hasn’t come out yet?” 

“Oh come on, Perry and Susan are so in love it’s crazy. Plus,” Ell lowered her voice, as if someone could overhear them, “I heard Susan told Perry that she doesn’t even _want_ to be called ‘Susan’ anymore.” 

“ _Really?”_

“Yeah. Like, she wants to use her last name and stuff. Because her name makes her ‘uncomfortable’ or something.” 

“...Then why are _you_ using it?” Carmilla pointed out. 

Ell frowned. 

“Oh man I’m sorry that’s true I’m being so awful to Su--LaFontaine aren’t I--” 

Carmilla laughed. “Ell, as if you’re capable of being insensitive on _purpose._ Plus, it’s just a rumor at the moment, isn’t it?” 

“Still.” 

Carmilla shrugged. “Whatever.” 

There was a lull in conversation. Autumn had set in, and Carmilla felt a leaf gently flutter onto her head; she picked it out of her hair, feeling it crunch against her fingers, flicking it away. 

“...Hey, Carm?” 

“What?” 

“You don’t...care, do you?” 

“‘Bout what, Cinnabon?” 

“That Danny is, like, a lesbian. Or LaFontaine and Perry might be too.” 

“Does it bother _you?”_

“Of course not! I’m just asking.” 

Carmilla shook her head. “I don’t really care. Girls are awesome anyway.” 

“...I kind of think they are too?” 

It was the way Ell said it. The way she quickly bit her lip, looking up at Carmilla, that made her eyes go wide and fingers curl a little into Ell’s hair, pausing mid untangling of a knot. 

“Ell, are _you_ gay?” 

Ell raised her shoulders. “Would you care?” 

“Of _course_ I care!” 

Ell flinched. Carmilla hastily backtracked. 

“No, no, Cinnabon, I mean I care because...are you okay about it?” 

“About being gay.” 

“Yeah. Because I mean this is Alabama. We’re deep south so if you’re, like, scared to come out I need to prepare my ‘I’ll kick your ass if you say that to my friend one more time’ speech--” 

Ell smiled warmly. “Thanks, Carm, but I think I’ll be okay. Mom and Dad were fine with Danny. And I mean they’re awesome, so it’ll be fine.” 

“...Good. Then. Really good. Um,” Carmilla tilted her head. “So you _are…?”_

Ell rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “I think so. Yes. Danny coming out, it just made me think about it, you know? And I’ve never wanted to date a boy, I’ve never liked a boy I just...I can’t even imagine it.”

“Have you wanted to kiss girls, then?” 

Ell turned red. She looked away from Carmilla and mumbled, “nuh-uh.” 

“Oh my God it’s Betty isn’t it?” 

“No it is not Betty!” 

“ _Elsie?”_

“Oh my _God_ no.” 

“Then who?” 

“ _No one,”_ Ell said more forcefully, “but kissing girls just seems so much better in the abstract sense? Girls are pretty, they’re softer, and come on men are pigs.” 

Carmilla hummed in agreement. “Dude I agree with you. On like, all of that. Honestly,” Carmilla frowned, “sometimes _I_ think I should date girls.”

Ell turned a little so she was sitting sideways. “Wait, what are _you_ saying?”

Carmilla paused. “...I guess I’m saying I wish there were more girls around here I could kiss so I could see if I like it or not?”

“You don’t need to kiss a girl to know Carm.”

“Still.”

“ _Ugh._ See that's the worst thing. I am gay and the only other people who _may_ be are grossly in love and won’t admit it yet. I just wish I could get my first kiss out of the way at _least._ ”

Carmilla did not answer at first. 

“Carm? Hello?”

“We could, you know.” 

Ell’s face turned red. “Wait _what.”_

“We both want to see what kissing a girl is like and you're my best friend.” Carmilla shrugged. “Why not?”

“But...shouldn't like...this be with a girl we want to…” She trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

“Wouldn’t you rather get it out of the way?”

“Yes? No? But it’s just...you. Wow. You of all people want your first kiss to be in the woods with your best friend on a beautiful autumn day? It’s just so... _sappy.”_

“Well it was just a thought,” Carmilla mumbled, “if you think it isn’t--”

And Ell leaned up to kiss her. 

It was nothing more than a brief peck, their lips barely brushing together before Ell pulled back. Whether the red of Carmilla’s cheeks was from Ell or the chilly fall air, well, Carmilla couldn’t even decide at the moment. 

“There,” Ell breathed, “we got it out of the way.” 

“...Yeah, I think I definitely only want to kiss girls.” 

“Aw, I was that good on my first try?” Ell teased. 

“I have no frame of reference,” Carmilla retorted. “...And God, this is great, now I’m going to have to tell my parents.” 

“You don’t _have to._ That’s up to you.”

“I mean, my mom is cool, but my dad is the type of guy that thinks it’s,” Carmilla wrinkled her nose, “hot. Gross.” 

Ell smiled at Carmilla warmly. “Considering we’ve done everything else together anyway,” Ell suggested, “why don’t we just do this together too?” 

“I like the way you, think, Cinnabon.”

Carmilla frowned, brow furrowing.

“What?” 

“Trying to figure out how to make a pie with every color of the rainbow in it.” 

Ell started laughing. “Of course, the first thing you start thinking of is Coming Out Pie.” 

“You don’t _want_ Coming Out Pie?” 

“Of course I do!” 

Ell stood up. She wiped her pants, taking Carmilla’s hand and pulling her to her feet. 

“Alright. And Ell?” 

“Yes?” 

Carmilla leaned closer to her. “I am honored to be your first kiss.” 

Ell’s lips parted slightly, completely silent--until Carmilla pushed Ell and ran past her. 

“Race you to the diner, Cinnabon!” 

“You _jerk!”_ Ell shouted, from her spot in a pile of fallen leaves. But she sprung up again, laughing as she stumbled into a sprint to catch up. 


	3. Runaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place shortly after the previous chapter, during Ell and Carmilla's sophomore year.

It was strange, how Ell could be so afraid of something that seemed on the face of it so likely to work out. 

Ell _kissed_ her. Ell kissed her best friend. And Carmilla didn’t seem to mind. 

Neither of them brought it up after it happened but Ell could feel a subtle shift between them. Carmilla would take Ell’s hand sometimes. She hugged her more often without being prompted. Sometimes Ell even swore Carmilla was trying to look at Ell when she thought Ell wouldn’t notice. Almost like she was trying to work a problem out in her head. 

Ell knew how she felt; she had known for a long time, or at least what felt like it; she had accepted that she was, in fact, in love with Carmilla Karnstein. 

And it was ridiculous to think it, because in her mind Camilla was this beautiful, precious thing that would settle for (and deserved) no less than a woman who could give her entire worlds the way Carmilla kept saying she wanted. But it was hard not to hope that, maybe, Carmilla could be deciding that Ell was enough. 

(She wasn’t, and Ell knew it, but she was selfish that way.)

They met in her backyard. Ell was there first, and she waited in the same place she kissed Carmilla a few weeks ago. Her scarf was wrapped tightly around her neck and Ell rubbed her hands; it was cold, in fact there was still frost. But Carmilla said she wanted to talk to her so she could handle a little cold. 

She heard Carmilla before she saw her, standing up as she heard the crunch of leaves and frosted grass under boots. Ell rocked back and forth on her heels. 

“Carm, hey! Took you long en--”

She stopped when she took Carmilla in. Cold had made her cheeks and the tip of her nose red but Ell saw her eyes--glassy, red. Her hands jammed into the pockets of her jeans. No coat. And she was shaking.

“Carmilla, what happened?”

“My life sucks, that is what h-happened.”

She wasn’t someone who cried. Even when they were kids Carmilla had never cried. So when her breath hitched Ell rushed forward.

“Carm, come here, you will freeze to death,” Ell said, “come on.”

She took her scarf and tied it around Carmilla’s neck. 

“Talked to my dad,” Carmilla mumbled, closing her eyes as Ell nimbly tied the scarf.

“A fight?”

“That isn’t a big deal. He said he’s giving up.”

“What do you mean?”

“He is moving to fucking Nashville.”

Ell let go. “But that's like--”

“Five hours away.” Carmilla pulled away from Ell and started pacing around the clearing. “Oh, you should have seen him Ell. You know what he’s like when he’s trying to be ‘serious.’ He always has his stupid plaid cotton shirt with the one undone button, and he rolls his sleeves up, and he’s like,” Carmilla stopped, turning to face Ell, mimicking the movements and deepening her voice. “Kid, I think we need to have a talk.”

“What did he say?”

Carmilla kept up the imitation. “‘I put a lot of dreams on hold when I married your mother, and if there is one thing this divorce has taught me, it’s that you’re never going to be happy doing what everyone else tells you is right.”

“That's bullshit.” 

“I know! He’s giving up fighting for joint custody, just handing it over to my mother, so he can run off and be a brokeass musician. And he’s trying to pass it off like he’s imparting some life lesson. And I just…” 

Carmilla shook her head jerkily, and she sat heavily in the grass. Ell joined her. 

“His marriage to my mother was a mistake,” Carmilla said, hugging her knees, “but I’m his _daughter._ I am his fucking _kid_ and he doesn’t get to decide he wants to run away because he’s _tired_ of dealing with me.” 

Ell put an arm around Carmilla, pressing her face in the skin of her neck. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. 

“And my fucking _mother,_ she knew he was planning to do it and she’s letting him, like the only thing that matters are _her_ feelings. Like because she can’t stand him I don’t want my own dad in my life either. It just...it fucking _sucks_ and it isn’t fair.” 

Ell didn’t have any words; she knew Carmilla’s home life had never been great. She had been privy to the slow decline of Mr. and Mrs. Karnstein from not being good to each other to not being good to Carmilla either. She’d stayed up with Carmilla a lot, just listening to her as she complained that they were too wrapped up in their feelings toward each other to even listen to how their own daughter felt. But what could she say? 

Carmilla scooted closer to Ell until her arms were wrapped around her tightly, and Ell’s chin rested on top of her head. 

“Carmilla, I _am_ really sorry,” Ell repeated, “you know you’ve got another family at my house, right?” 

“I know.” 

“My parents would totally adopt you if you asked.” 

“Hey, Ell?” Carmilla asked softly. 

“Yes?” 

“Can we pretend for a second,” Carmilla said, “that if I asked you to leave with me, you’d say yes? We’d pack a suitcase full of stuff and we’d just...just go. Somewhere where I can be more than just the poor daughter of Lily and Thaddeus Karnstein. Where you’d be...whatever you want to be, I guess.” 

Ell smiled at her. “Everyone we meet would know me as your best friend. So things wouldn’t really change for me.” 

“Still. I could take my guitar and play it on street corners for money.” 

“We’d sleep in crappy hotel rooms.” 

“Never live in the same city twice.” 

“That would be nice, huh?” Ell finished, indulging her, “just you and me.” 

“Yeah,” Carmilla answered softly, her face so close to Ell’s that their noses were almost brushing, “just you and me.” 

Ell started to feel her face heat up as they stared at each other. Carmilla added, “you know what? We should do it.” 

“Wait, _what?”_

“We _should_ do it.” Carmilla stood up. “You and me we just--just get out of here. Forget all of this pretending, right? Danny managed to get out, we can too.” 

Ell stared up at Carmilla. “Um, Carm, Danny got out because she got a full academic scholarship. That’s a little different than skipping town with a bag full of clothes. Where would we even go?” 

“We just talked about it. Never the same city twice, remember? Come on, Ell. Birmingham is three hours from here. Hell, Nashville is a five hour drive if we hitchhiked. We could go find my dad and show him how easy it is to pretend his family doesn’t exist--” 

“Carmilla,” Ell said gently, getting up from the ground, “it’s all fun to pretend, but being a runaway is not as glamorous as you’re making it sound in your head.” 

“So you’re saying you _don’t_ want to run away with me?” 

“I do, Carmilla. I mean...look, I’ve also always thought it’d be kind of cool to go skydiving. Or join the circus. Or...or learn how to juggle knives. But I also know that in reality it isn’t going to be a good idea.” 

“Ell,” Carmilla said, “don't you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we weren't _trapped_ in this tiny, no name town? To not have everyone you meet already think they know who you are and who you're going to be?” 

Ell didn’t answer. 

“Because I don't want that,” Carmilla said, “I am Carmilla Karnstein, and everyone expects Lily Karnstein’s daughter to make pies the rest of her life.”

“I...like pie,” Ell answered weakly. 

“I do too, but I want to make it on my own terms.”

Carmilla was staring at Ell; it was so hopeful, so _desperate_ that it took all of Ell’s will not to agree to anything that could make Carmilla happy. 

“Carmilla,” Ell said, “I can’t go. You can’t go! We have homes, a life here--”

“That’s easy for you to say.” Carmilla snapped.

“...What is that supposed to mean?”

“Perfect Ell, with your perfect family. Of course _you_ think it isn’t worth leaving. Well I don’t have good home or a life here Ell.”

“That isn’t fair.”

“It’s nice to know where your loyalties lie.” 

Ell shook her head. “You--you know what?” Ell raised her arms only to let them drop to her sides. “You’re right! I’m really sorry, Carmilla. But I love my mom and dad, and I can’t leave them. I’m sorry I like my life Carmilla. I’m sorry I’m _happy.”_

Carmilla stared at Ell, clenching and unclenching her fists. “So you won’t go.”

 _“_ I can’t,” Ell answered, “and you can’t either. Carmilla, _I_ care about you. So does Betty. And my mom and dad.”

She took a step forward, speaking in earnest. “You know the phrase ‘blood is thicker than water?” 

“So?”

“It’s actually ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’ You don’t need them to have a family that loves you, Carmilla, just because they share some DNA. I mean,” she pressed her hands against her chest. “You have me. You have my parents. Let us be your family. At least you get a choice, this time, right?”

“...So you won’t go.” 

“I don’t want to leave, Carm. I couldn’t do that to my mom and dad. I can’t leave Silas, it’s my _home._ And you can’t leave either. I know you don’t feel like it now, but it’s your home too. And if you run away you’ll regret it. I don’t want to--to lose my best friend.” 

Carmilla looked down at the grass, her hands relaxing as she swallowed thickly. Carmilla looked back up at Ell. “So I guess that’s it then.” 

Ell saw an opening and she took it. She grabbed Carmilla, hugging her tightly, and Carmilla’s fingers curled on Ell’s back as she wrapped her arms around her. 

“Come on, let’s go home,” Ell said softly. 

“Can I stay at your house tonight?” Carmilla asked. 

“Didn’t I just say we were going home?” Ell answered, grinning at Carmilla when they let go.

“Thanks, Cinnabon.” 

She smiled, weak and soft, and Ell wished there was more she could do for her, some way to take the weight from her friend’s chest. But Ell keep doing what she knew how to do; she loved Carmilla quietly, as much as she could, and hoped that would be enough. 


	4. Ell and Danny on the Ferris Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 29, while Laura and Carmilla were watching Danny's brother and sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these two, so here's what they were doing on the ferris wheel while I finish up chapter 30 of the main fic.

She still couldn’t believe that this was happening to her. Ell was on a date, and her date was holding her hand, and her date looked like she was having a _nice time._

Seriously, Ell didn’t think that was possible. 

“You know the funny thing? I haven’t been on a ferris wheel in a _really_ long time.” 

“How long is a ‘long time?’” Danny asked, stopping at the back of the line, gently rubbing Ell’s hand with her thumb. 

“Um,” Ell frowned a little, “actually, I can’t even _remember_ the last time I’ve been on a ferris wheel.” 

“Wait, _seriously?_ That’s a classic amusement park ride! I’m really glad you’re coming with me, then.” 

Ell smiled. “I’m really glad I’m coming with you, too.” 

She took a risk and kissed the back of Danny’s hand; she breathed a sigh of relief when Danny’s cheeks turned pink, obviously pleased at the attention. 

“So…” Danny looked forward, “I’m sorry I brought Tucker and Annie with us on a first date.” 

“You’re _apologizing?_ Danny, I love them. Don’t say you’re sorry.” 

“Still, that’s not exactly romantic, I guess.” 

“Caring about your family is very attractive to me,” Ell answered. 

Danny looked at Ell and smiled. “It _is,_ huh?” 

“Well, yeah. I don’t have one. It’s nice to see someone else that appreciates theirs so much.” 

Ell swallowed, looking away from Danny. She felt a gentle squeeze of her hand and looked back. 

“Hey,” Danny said gently, “you know you’re a part of our family, right?” 

“I’m not like a sister to you, I hope,” Ell joked. 

“Oh _God_ no,” Danny said, laughing, “you’re the wife, remember?” 

Ell turned beet red. Before she could say anything else, Danny added, “hey, we’re at the front of the line!” 

She swept an arm out. “Ladies first, Ells.” 

“Uh, Danny, you know _you’re_ a lady.” 

“Still.” 

Ell rolled her eyes affectionately, stepping inside the ferris wheel car. Danny sat next to her. It was a small gondola, with a plastic bench that circled all the way around the space. 

“Alright, we’re going up!” 

Ell kept smiling as the car moved. 

And then came to a sudden realization. 

“Uh, Danny?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I _just_ remembered why I never went on ferris wheels.” 

“Why--oh man Ell are you alright?” 

She’d forgotten she was afraid of heights. The subject just hadn’t really come up in years. And whatever vague memories she had of being uncomfortable, she had assumed she’d outgrow them. 

Apparently not. _Definitely_ not. 

“There are no seatbelts,” Ell said, “we are so freaking far off the ground and there aren’t any safety belts!”

“Ell,” Danny said soothingly, “there is no way we are going to fall out unless you _literally_ throw yourself over the edge. Which you’re obviously not going to do. We’re not even that high yet.” 

The car moved again. Ell whimpered. 

“I’ve got you.” 

Danny put her arm around Ell’s waist, pulling her closer. Ell hid her face in the side of Danny’s neck. 

“I’m so sorry, Danny, I feel so stupid,” Ell said, trying to control her breathing. 

Having Ell curled up into her side was...actually probably the best possible thing that could have happened to Danny in that moment. She didn’t really mind. She just wished it wasn’t because Ell was having a panic attack. 

“Hey, don’t feel stupid. At least your fear of heights is rational. I have some weird phobias.” 

“You do?” Ell mumbled, “but you’re not afraid of...well, _anything._ What can you possibly be afraid of?” 

“Okay, don’t tell anyone, but,” Danny shuddered, “ _clowns.”_

“That’s not a weird phobia, that is a phobia even more rational than a fear of heights!” Ell pulled away to look at Danny, then caught a glimpse of how high they were. She hid her face again. Danny rubbed Ell’s back, resting her chin on her head. 

“You really thought I wasn’t afraid of anything, huh?” 

Ell laughed weakly. “I don’t think you realize how cool I thought you were when we were kids. Do you think it was a coincidence that I came out right after you did?” 

“I guess not.” 

She ran a hand through Ell’s hair. “I always thought you were, like, the nicest person I knew.” 

“Yeah. And you probably also thought I was a pretty cute _kid.”_

“You _were._ Remember that one Halloween when you were twelve? Carmilla was sick so I took you trick or treating?” 

“I remember. You weren’t planning on trick or treating. You put a scarf on at the last second and pretended you were Ginny Weasely because I was Hermione.” 

“You had to be the cutest kid I’d ever seen.” 

“Yeah. _Kid._ You baby sitted me and now we’re on a date,” Ell frowned a little, “is that weird?” 

“I mean, we’re both in our twenties now. Three years isn’t that bad at our age.” 

“Still.” 

“I mean, sure, you were cute when you were twelve. But then I went away to college and when I came back to visit home, I mean--” Danny smiled sheepishly. 

“Are you saying I got...hot?” 

“You got, like, _really_ hot.” 

“I did not. I _am_ not.” The car moved again. Ell tightened her grip on Danny. 

“Ell, that is such a lie. You made me feel guilty because I was like ‘whoa, she’s sixteen, I shouldn’t think she’s hot.’ But you kind of were.” 

Ell didn’t say anything. 

“Ell? You okay?” 

“...I’m just thinking. You know,” she sighed, “about what might have happened if I hadn’t been an idiot and stopped talking to you.” 

“ _Hey._ That isn’t important. I told you already, I forgive you--” 

“I _know_ you do. But it just makes me mad, that I spent so long holding out for C--someone, someone else,” Danny _knew_ about Ell and Carmilla, she’d told her, but that didn’t mean Danny wanted to bring her up _now_ of all times, “when you’ve been here this whole time.” 

“Honestly?” Danny shrugged. “Age wise we’re right around a good time to be dating each other. You’re right--if we had done it earlier, it would have just felt _weird._ ”

“I guess.” 

“In fact, if you think about it, maybe that was fate making sure this happened at the right time.” 

“That’s--that’s a really good way to look at it--” The car moved again, then stopped, and Ell looked up for a moment, eyes widening. “And _oh my God we’re going to die.”_

They were finally at the top of the ferris wheel. Danny looked out, enjoying the view--though she would have enjoyed it more if Ell wasn’t so terrified. Her breathing had become shaky again. 

“Ell, it’s okay. Come here.” She pulled her closer, “it’s a nice view, see?” 

“I--I guess so.” 

“Look at me if you want.” 

Ell did. She looked at Danny. “This is a better view,” she said. 

“Well shucks, thanks,” Danny said, laughing, “I could say the same about you. Now, come on. Just focus on talking to me.” 

Ell bit her lip. “Um, Danny?” 

“Yes?” 

Ell grabbed Danny’s hand, looking down at it, shutting her eyes tight. “I--I don’t like change,” she said, “you know that. When my parents died everything changed so _suddenly,_ and so _much._ It was scary. Kind of turned me off the whole idea.” 

“I understand,” Danny said softly. 

“You do. Which is part of the reason why you’re so wonderful. For me. And in general. But also for me. But to be honest...I wanted to prepare this whole speech for you, but then I realized two things. One, being obsessed over saying the right thing is why I never told Carmilla until it was too late.” 

Danny nodded. “And…?” 

“I tried to write something, then ran out of notebook paper and realized that I'm never gonna be happy with what I say.”

Danny held in a laugh. 

“My _point_ ,” Ell continued, staring into Danny's eyes--probably more to avoid seeing how high they were than to be romantic, but Danny didn't care, “is that this summer I learned that some things _have_ to change. I just need to decide to make it good change. And it would be naive of me to think that now I'm never going to be sad again--I mean, love isn't a magical cure for depression and anxiety or anything--but for the first time in _years,_ I think I could be happy with good change. Like you. You are good change.” 

Ell blinked. “...And in case that was really confusing, I'm asking you to be my girlfriend?” 

Danny didn't know what to say. 

So she didn't say anything. 

Danny cupped Ell's cheek, before pulling her in and kissing her. Ell's eyes opened a little wider with shock, before sighing into it. Danny pulled away. 

“...Is that a yes?” Ell asked breathlessly. 

“A _resounding_ yes. You are the best girlfriend I could ever ask for.” 

Ell was beaming now, and Danny couldn't help but kiss her again. 

“You know, if you're still afraid of heights--” 

“Making out with you is a great way to distract me until we get off?” 

Danny blinked. 

“...I'm sorry, too over eager, wasn't I--” 

“ _God,_ you are the best.” 

Danny grabbed her and kissed her again. Ell responded enthusiastically, which made for about the best several minutes of Danny's _life--_ until they were interrupted by a sharp whistle. 

Great. Carmilla interrupted them. 

Danny let go. She joked with Carmilla and Laura a little, broke the news to her very excited siblings, and grabbed Ell's hand to keep walking.

“Sorry I embarrassed you,” Danny whispered. 

“Honestly?” Ell leaned in and kissed her, “I'm way too happy to care.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys have specific requests I'll take them at my tumblr marzo2theletter! :D


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